Ride the Lightning

Devil Thumbs a Ride

Cinderella's carriage is a bread box. That's where the paschal lamb is. Eli's temple was from a time when the monks were allowed to pursue their own finances. The phairies have wine flagons, the monks have ritz purses. Some monasteries, like Adam's, use chickens. Some monasteries do not believe in seeing the phairies for money but, if the individual monk takes a ritz purse to refill a phairies flagon, that's their own personal business. This is a time before the land was regimented to carrot tops. The eunuchs did not begin regimenting gold coins until after the phairies were signed into a reservation right next door to hell. Once the phairies are gone then the eunuch population is able to take on the job of collecting the raindrops from the men and delivering the fine drink to the remaining lineages of temple morticians which deal with the phairies. Samuel's temple, the drive to move all the phairies to the reservation next to hell, insisted that the pashcal lamb in the bread box was a fine delivery vehicle between the humans and the phairies. The practice also gave the upper heirarchy of the temple greater financial control over the entirety of the population beneath it.

Back in Ninevah the descendants of Ham were known to ridicule those people which participated in carrot stick or temple green eggs and ham debauchery. Now all of the descendants of Ham are used as paschal lambs. The headline title over Sodom and Gomorrah was,"Got ch-yo' mama" as Ham's mother was the final actual real woman. She went down the same way as every other target the green eggs and ham people set upon; forty against one, if she was lucky. That was a long time ago, when Ninevah was yet up in the trees, before the firmament of the sky was needed to catch the water torrenting from the floodgates.

The paschal lamb was not always shipped to the phairies. Before the phairies became the default reservation surrounding all of the known gates to hell some of the passover lambs could be shipped to actual hell. In modern times the bread box is likened to a self-cleaning dishwasher, or a front-loader tumble washer with viewing window. Press the button and you are able to hear the rocket sled whoosh out the back. Give a week or two and the light will change and the bread box will be back in service.

The modern day bread box doesn't even ship to a phairie kingdom. The modern day bread box ships to the kingdom of heaven and then, from within the kingdom of heaven, part of the script ships to the phairie kingdom and, from within the phairie reservation, the rocket sled finishes the gospel set of appearances in hell. The phairies helped to set all of that up properly before Samuel turned around and stabbed them all in the back, and David helped bugger them, too. Saul was honest,"Sure, they're bugs, and they're kinda quiet and stupid, and they move real jittery and sudden, and they're always sucking on those silky wine flagons… but do you see how much money those guys have? They'll pay you for that fine drink!"

In the kingdom of heaven the paschal lamb performs in a monastic order as they did on the surface so many thousands of years ago. The paschal lamb has daily assignments and routines both in the kingdom of heaven and in the bread boxes on the surface. Bread boxes go on exchange programs and world tours, if the paschal lamb inside is of a sufficiently numbered level or simply scheduled for appearances. The detail of the mummification scarring on the passover lamb's body may somewhat indicate the numerical value keeping in mind that the whole system works like a logarithmic scrabble board and leftover digits in the figuring may turn into significant bits in the final number. The rooster tail is only present if the paschal lamb was driven through the "ride the tiger" sequence (there's a biblical title for it; pay attention next time it's heard) and the tree rings on the rooster tail only if such sequence was completed multiple times, and the rooster tail of tree rings only reaches a logarithmic section if completed several hundred times.

What's this? Completed several hundred times? Knocking the paschal lamb down to the one arm bandit, sans legs, riding the tiger, and shipping the left arm ("Please, just give us anything… give us what's left!" rainbowtard beggars) off to the pirate party, is the capitulation of a four year sequence in which the paschal lamb has one day off every year. One day, every year, they stuff the bread box in a sheltered closet and do not assault it; they fill the closet with marijuana and opium smoke on that one day, and they spend all day listening to whatever the paschal lamb happens to babble to himself. Tomorrow it's back to work. In the kingdom of heaven the paschal lamb will spend time with a zipper sewn into the inside of the left arm that the arm may be removed for duty whenever called for. The only time the other monks in the kingdom of heaven give to the paschal lamb any consideration (an extra blanket at night, a little extra room in dining hall, maybe keep the noise down and let him have some music) is when his left arm is out on duty, because then he's doing double. The final few mummification years and end-of-year parties (ride the one arm bandit in the tiger-button, pull the tripe out, hold the dinner party, weigh out the brain and all internal organs, etc.) allow the dogs to voraciously chew up the inside of the left arm to cover up any trace of the zipper installment.

The paschal lamb operates on a four year sequence. Every four year cycle is the same, every cycle gets just a little worse and more brutal as time goes on. That's the tower of Babel.

When they finally let him out of the bread box then he's destined to be Isaac, if he eats the green eggs and ham, or Jesus Christ, if he's a jobbie. The lineage of Ham's script has been exhausted for a long time. The paschal lamb is only considered to have been a Ham if he's clipped before age ten, a Zacchaeus if they get him dead (to heaven/hell) in the teenage years, Jesus lives to thirty or thirty five. A jobbie paschal lamb which lives to the forties would qualify to be Isaac. The gospel ensures that he's gone by thirty-five.

If he is a good prophet then he'll stay out of hell.

130701 SAB

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License